geekoplanet.com - USE ME, LOVE ME: A BEGINNER’S GUIDE ON THE USE OF BONDAGE, FETISH AND KINKY SEX TO HAVE FUN

USE ME, LOVE ME: A BEGINNER’S GUIDE ON THE USE OF BONDAGE, FETISH AND KINKY SEX TO HAVE FUN

Before highlighting on things to take note of as a newbie on BDSM or kinky sex, here’s a short story to illustrate its usefulness in a couple’s sexual life.

Megan had been staying in her car for hours at a secluded park while she cried herself to stupor. And for the first time in her life she had never felt so hopeless and helpless. The reason for her current state was due to the fact that the marriage between she and her loving husband was about to crash and it seemed she couldn’t do anything about it. Almost her life, she had always been in control or placed over other people, always the one in charge and giving the orders but right now at this point she wasn’t sure whether she was even capable of being in control anymore. This is because she felt she had absolutely failed at what should be important the most: her marital relationship and love between she and her husband. Her husband, Dave, was one of the few men she respected and adored apart from her dad and some of her business associates or workers. This is because Dave has always been there for her and respected her as a strong and independent-minded woman and trying as much as possible to be a loving husband and lover but these days it seems that there was something still missing in her. All of a sudden she discovered a sort of lack of pleasure and disconnection in her sex life with Dave and this have started taking a costly toll on their marital life. Though she was usually away from home for more hours due to her job as a branch manager for a household appliances supply company while her husband worked as a freelance graphics designer which made him to usually be more homely than she was, but she and Dave still made sure to have the time for each other. But she recently started to have wild and kinky sexual fantasies that involved her being used, dominated and controlled by another person. And at first, Megan thought those feelings were only fleeting and just the occasional, random sexual fantasies that most people do have from time to time, and thus waved them aside as temporary naughty thoughts. But to her consternation, those so-called fleeting, naughty sexual fantasies started coming into her mind more strongly than before. The urges became so strong for her that she started making discreet visits to erotic sites that have anything on all form of kinky sexual acts, BDSM and domination. Afterwards she embarked on a rollercoaster of masturbatory sessions with vivid imaginations of being used, tied up and being told what to do. At first, she would cum strongly after such sessions but even those started losing their touch on her as they still couldn’t assuage that deep yearning she was feeling. She soon started to get frustrated due to the fear of expressing her real emotions to her husband Dave for fear that he wouldn’t start to see her as a kind of sexual slut or freak. The bottled up feelings eventually started to affect their sex life which soon got noticed by Dave. Though Meg knew he really tried to get her to speak but she just couldn’t bring herself to tell him what was really going on with her. He too became frustrated with her and started accusing her of probably wanting to deliberately break their marriage so she could do as she likes by hurting him or even probably having an affair. The accusation had led to an ugly quarrel between them and making Dave to start sleeping outside their bedroom. The emotional toll from the recent fallout in their marital affairs started to affect her work and then she decided to take a week off so as to have the time to tackle things before they depreciate to irredeemable levels.

It had been almost a week now since she and Dave had had the quarrel and whether she wanted to admit it or not, she had been the cause of everything by behaving irrationally. She just have to talk to her husband and swallow her fear and pride by opening up to him. At least there are still worse things than asking someone, especially your lover, to use and take control of you in bed simply because you are tired of doing the controlling and desperately in need of anything kinky and fun to satisfy that need sexually.

She wiped her tears and drove home with a fierce determination to mend things with her husband. She didn’t meet him at home and so she decided to take a bath. Feeling relaxed from the bath, she drew on a bathrobe and was about going to bed when she was suddenly grabbed from behind as a hand came over her eyes to block her view. She was about to scream when the voice of her husband stunned her to silence.

“Shhhh relax Meg, it’s me” He whispered to her ears.

Megan could feel nothing other than utter surprise and confusion at her husband’s sudden action and wondered what he could be up to at that moment.

“Jeez Dave, you gave me a real scare! Do you mind telling me what’s going on?” She asked with obvious curiosity.

“You don’t need to know anything for now, but just trust me and do as I say from now on” Dave replied.

Still totally confused, Meg could only nod as Dave proceeded to blindfold her. Then he led her to their bedroom where he instructed her to lie down naked before he promptly tied her up. Even though not yet sure about the situation, Megan found herself getting excited and turned on by what Dave was doing. Then she heard her husband get out for a while before coming back into the bedroom. In a deliberately rough and commanding tone, he told her he would now insert a vibrating rabbit into her pussy with strict instructions that she should not dare have any form of orgasm whatsoever except he wanted her to, and if she failed to comply then she would receive a punishment. Megan, still utterly shocked and now speechless by her husband’s sudden change and form of welcome, could only nod in reply as she helplessly shook in pleasure from the tingling sensation of the device Dave was inserting into her. She knew she had started getting wet already but still finding it hard to believe her months long sexual fantasies are starting to come true. Then Dave began to slowly and sensually tickle her with a form of feather on parts where he knew she was sensitive including her neck, sides, in between her buttocks, around her breasts nipples and down to her wet, already tortured pussy. Megan was already shaking and moaning uncontrollably at this point from all the multiple sensations. But once Dave saw her shake or moan too much, he’d lightly whip her either on the thighs, breasts or even clit with a special kind of whip that Megan guessed was made for kinky stuffs like this to induce a painless but sexual beating. Dave sensually tortured Megan like this until she was a sweating, quivering mess begging her husband to stop. Then Dave commanded her to start addressing him as master as he whipped her. She instantly complied, hoping for a quick relief to have a real orgasm. Dave continued, ignoring her pleas until he made sure she addressed him with that title with every word she utters. Afterwards Dave left her to cool off for a few minutes before going to where her head is on the bed and barked at her to start licking his cock as he suddenly shoved it inside her mouth.

Megan, already mindless with lust, hungrily took her husband’s cock as he roughly used her mouth to sage his urge. He would occasionally pull her by her hair as he aggressively fucked her mouth. Before long Dave groaned out loud as he came thickly into his wife’s mouth as he occasionally humiliated her with dirty words.

“Oh yeah. Take in all my cum bitch”

“I know you love it. You love becoming such a cum slut for your master, huh?”

“Now drink from your master, slut”

Megan had never been so aroused more in her life as her loving husband played out her fantasies on her. Once Dave finished, he proceeded to finish her off with a mind-blowing cunnilingus as he ate her out to a squirting orgasm. After he removed her blindfold, Meg had sobbed and hugged him tightly as they earnestly promised each other to never let go again.

Now as can be seen from the story illustration above, BDSM is a form of sexual concept that comes in many forms. It is simply all about indulging with wild, aggressive, sensual, romantic, daring and out of the ordinary sexual activities with a partner (or in some cases partners) with the sole purpose of fulfilling one or the other’s sexual fantasies while deriving as much pleasure as possible. Now the full meaning of BDSM is bondage, domination, sadism and masochism, though all these terms are only applicable depending on the kind of sexual activity or persons involved. We humans easily get bored psychologically or could suddenly be afflicted by a sudden ennui as exemplified by Megan above. But the basic fact is that once the source of that boredom is not addressed, then it is bound to reflect on the other aspects of our lives. And unfortunately, most marriages or relationships are truly suffering mostly from sexual frustration, lack of sexual freedom, too much conservative outlook on sex and the fear of communicating one’s sexual needs to our partners. Though not everyone needs an aggressive or rough session to be aroused sexually but we can accept that there are other forms of adventurous or kinky BDSM that can be used to make one’s sexual life with a partner to wax stronger.

Here are a few tips and guides to practicing BDSM as a first timer:

  1. Good communication and agreement-: Before embarking on any sexual fantasies, it is very important to have an open and sincere talk with one’s partner whether to indulge in a sexual adventure or not. In fact communication is the foundation towards achieving a sexual fantasy because it takes two to tango for most things to succeed as gained from the short story above.
  2. Selection of sexual toys-: From dildos, fleshlight, sex dolls, vibrators, anal plugs, anal beads, feathers, handcuffs, gagg , blinfold painless whips etc, there are undoubtedly lots of sex toys or objects to select from anytime and any day, but the key is knowing what your partner wants or prefers. And once both of you have communicated your preferences to each other, then there wouldn’t be any awkward sexual situations. One might guess wrong on a partner’s sexual kinkiness by using a whip whereas he or she only gets turned on by choking instead.
  3. Use of dirty words-: Words are basic forms of communication that convey our intents and minds. Use of dirty words like slut, bitch, cow, slave, cum slut, pussy slave, master, mistress, use me etc have been known to have magical effects on a wild, sexual partner. So when embarking on any form of BDSM, you can as well use this or look up more words on the internet to guide you.
  4. Moods and settings-: For a sexual encounter to successfully provide the ultimate pleasure, the environment or settings has to be in sync with the mood of both persons involved. This may include staging a mock kidnap, a form of torture dungeon with sexual machines, a bedroom with romantic bands and blindolds etc. Just endeavour to set a suitable mood for your partner so as to enhance the kinkiness of the sex
  5. Chocolates, cream and candies-: Well according to modern research, scientists have ascribed the aphrodisiac qualities of chocolate, if any, to two chemicals it contains. One, tryptophan, is a building block of serotonin, a brain chemical involved in sexual arousal. The other, phenylethylamine, a stimulant related to amphetamine, is released in the brain when people fall in love. So you can as well put in a mix of these in torturing your partner by making him or her to lie down as you lick it off her tied body and occasionally make him or her to have a little taste both to create an erotic appetite and feeling.
  6. Beatings and spankings-: Even though this approach has been frowned on by many as a form of sadistic and sick perversion of sexual pleasure but we can all agree we all have different tastes. In fact majority always picture a form of brutal beating once BDSM is mentioned. But the truth of the matter is BDSM or kinky sex is not all about whips and belts. As can be seen from the above story, you can spank your partner’s ass or body with light beatings of playful gestures without any hard force but everything still depends on your partner’s choice. Some prefer it rough while others prefer it cool.

So all in all BDSM is all about having a never before indulged sexual adventure and fantasies with a partner but the most important is deriving as much pleasure and satisfaction as possible no matter the forms of BDSM you select to indulge in.